"Use it, don't be used by it"
These words have rung through my head several times over the last few months to serve as a fresh smack to the head regarding how I am approaching my life. I am a firm believer that all of live is our choice, whether it be in the actions or the reactions. Our future is dictated by our exhibition of Free Will or the willingness to give it up to others. To convince ourselves that something happening to us it entirely out of our control is an act against our own sense of humanity. It's easy to give the power away to others to make the decisions. It's also easy to get into the habit that life is happening to us, as if we are just a chess piece and the board is our life. I believe the temptation to create this mindset comes from the desire to make the bad times seem out of our control- as if that makes it more bearable- and to make the good times seem more like a battle or a reward for hard work. Either way you look at this mindset, it is the trick of the ego to either be the hero or the victim. In life there is no hero and there is no victim, there is only YOU.
The better we get at making decisions that we know are best for us, the harder it is to b*llsh*t ourselves into thinking that there is some grand scheme in the universe that is pushing us to fail. "Easy" is a matter of perspective- all decisions aligned to our highest self are easy, whether or not they don't take a little bit of work is another matter... this is life after all. We are the chessboard, and the pieces are each and every action and believe we create. We are not here to do, we are here to be.
The Do-ing- actions, beliefs, relationships, etc.- are all a way to express ourselves in our grand Be-ingness
This means that we are using our relationships, actions, jobs, thoughts to help shape the most beautiful manifestation of the perfection that lies within our Pandora's box of a Soul. So when we start to believe that we have to do certain things, or that life is getting to be a bit too much, that's when that energetic slap comes to remind you that everything is on you. Why are you becoming the victim?! You chose this- if not directly by request then indirectly by energetic alignment. When you ask for something and the universe sends it your way, then you feel as if this thing is abusing you then you are congesting your energy and sending mixed signs to the universe. A good example of this:
I have been traveling a lot lately, pretty much every month I am either driving or flying all over the place for work. This is what I asked for, however I got really overwhelmed with it all and fearful that I wasn't going to keep my shit together enough to do my best job. I hopped into the Victim seat, ya know, the one where The Universe is cruising along at a million-miles-per-hour and there is the perception that there is nothing you can do about it. Once "use it, don't be used by it," popped into my head I stopped and assessed- this is exactly what I want and I am not willing to give up the work that sends me out on the road, on the contrary I want to continue to grow it, so put on your big-girl pants and get it together. This opportunity is the gift that I asked for, so don't turn it into a cross to be carried around. Find joy in every act that I have chosen to participate in.
Another way we are really good at jumping into the victim seat is when it comes to chosen positive habits, intentions and resolutions. We come up with this beautiful, grand scheme of how we are going to be healthier, happier, more spiritual, successful, blah, blah, blah and then we turn around and act like The Universe just threw a ball and chain around our ankles. "If I don't do __meditate_run_eat salad_avoid wine_etc.__ today then I am so screwed." Woah, what?! So you chose to participate in something that supports you feeling more you, then when it comes around to rolling up the sleeves you perceive yourself to be the whipping boy? You just took something that is intended to help you become more you, to further express your awesome You-ness, and you made it into the least personal and spiritual activity ever. You don't have to eat a salad every damn day to feel better about your body, you don't have to meditate every day in order to be connected. You are using the salad to feel better, you are not better because you ate the salad. You are using meditation to feel more connected, you are not more connected because you meditated!
I find myself back at the point that I always seem to come back to: When I put myself at the center of my universe- my actions, relationships, my beliefs- my life flows better, because I have 100% control to be the best version of myself within them. It can be scary, the ego has made us believe that being in the drivers seat means we have greater responsibility and more reputation at stake and we might become *gasps* selfish. This is fear tactic numero uno and it's all bullshit. Yes, with great power comes great responsibility. However, if we trust ourselves then we can trust that we always want to do good and this goodness starts within. If you believe that you are Good at your very core, then what makes you think that you won't be this Good within your life? I believe it.
So every time you find yourself bitching and moaning about all of the things that you have to do, all of the things that are such a life-suck, then do what I do and mentally slap yourself across the face and take back control. What did you do to create this present scenario? Is there something about it that doesn't honor your higher self? Is there something about it that you didn't want? If there is, well then change it. If there isn't, then stop complaining about what you asked for and change your attitude towards it!
Your greatest cheerleader...
Chelsea M Latham
When I was a kid my mom would occasionally refer to me as a Reverend, because I had the need to speak so passionately about just about everything. Little did she know that some day I would build a business upon sharing the wisdom that I am so passionate about. So here you go, here are some bits and bobs of thoughts strung together for your enjoyment.