Thoughts of a Traveling Soul

People know that I can be random... I actually like to call it "following my Soul," but some times it takes quite a bit of explaining to connect all of the dots to others that in my mind just seem to magically appear. Despite the fact that on the surface most of what I do seems very spur of the moment, it is actually all very well calculated and planned. I always know why I am doing something, and how it will help me progress in life. The catch is that I watch, observe, think, feel and take it all in but I don't typically share any of this with anyone until my mind is made up, and at that point there is absolutely no going back. So when things appear to come up out of the blue for me, in actuality they've been stirring my pot  for quite some time.

But this was random. 

About two months ago I received an email from an acquaintance whom I had only met once but had a very lovely feeling about- and for someone who trusts their gut, "lovely feelings" are always easy justifications. The email was quite simple, something along the lines of "Random thought, my husband's expedition company is going to Nepal for 26 days to trek and climb, I just decided to go, do you want to join?" That was about the extent of the details- no dates, itinerary, price, anything. I read this and my head swelled with the same sensation as a migraine, but it felt like a migraine of adrenaline, joy and excitement. Gut instinct: this is exactly what I need. I read this about 30 minutes before I went to bed and I was buzzed, very aware that this was ridiculous no idea whether or not it was possible or how I would make it happen but I felt more thrilled than I had in months...

I travel, it is who I am. For the last two years I have forsaken my traveling because I felt like I needed to be firmly rooted in one place to work for my business. It was like having a baby, I knew that after a few years I could get back into it, but until the right time I needed to commit my time, energy, and finances to my work. I believe the appropriate word is "responsible."  It sucked the life out of me and I didn't even realize it. I thought maybe my travel is frivolous, as amazing as it always was it wasn't actually necessary. I thought mini vacations would satisfy my need for adventure and sunshine. I could never have been more wrong. It was like my love of life was slowly being sucked out of me and I didn't even realize it until this opportunity grazed me. It was only once I began traveling again that I realized how important travel is not only for me but for my work. It gives me the perfect platform to show people all the world has to offer, as well as all the amazing things they are capable of. It's not a guilty pleasure, it's an experience to help one evolve to a whole new level of living.

So slowly over the next few days I gathered more information and went through many waves of excitement and total overwhelm. As I mentioned, I am very well calculated and although the sum total was that I absolutely had to go, nothing else quite added up. It made me uncomfortable and nervous when I spent more than a minute thinking about it, but that first minute before discomfort was of total ecstasy. Most importantly I was surrounded people who would take no for an answer, no matter what happened I must go. For them and all they did I am infinitely grateful. 

In one very quick month I now had to prepare all of my work for a month of absence, buy gear and get organized and attend three weddings (in this different states). Hindsight, part of me is grateful for all the stress and chaos, it gave me little time to think of what I was about to embark upon which only served to heighten my amazement and appreciation when I landed in Kathmandu. 

What really set in to unnerve me was the fact that as a result of the randomness of the trip, I had no idea why I was going. Again, the calculations set in and so did the heartburn and anxiety. There has always been a purpose for going to the places that I have been do, but for this one I was just jumping on to someone else's trip because it was an opportunity not to be missed. I knew that a big part of these experience was in whether or not I would say yes... the universe just gifted me all I could possibly need, am I going to take it or leave it? "Don't think, just do," went through my head on a near hourly basis those weeks. I knew I needed to go, and it was hard to remember that that needed to be enough. Being me, and doing what I do, I don't take things for granted and I believe there is a reason behind most of what happens in life. I knew there was a reason for me going on this trip, I had a feeling it was really big, but I had no idea what. That tortured me, there was no meditating away from the small child inside me who is entirely impatient and must always know the details. I was excited and terrified... what would happen? What is the lesson I need to learn that may change me forever? Everyone kept telling me to relax and just have fun, but it wasn't happening, my anxiety only worsened.

Then I arrived, and like riding a bike all the sensations necessary for easy joyful travel in a third world country kicked back in and I suddenly resumed my place in the world as a Traveling Soul, viewing every moment, every meal, every stranger as a new opportunity for untold amazement. I couldn't handle the amount of gratitude I felt for everyone who pushed me onto the plane, for everyone I was surrounded by in this new land, and finally for myself, for trusting that as hard as it may be, sometimes you don't need an answer sometimes you just need to go.